What I changed: In this essay i mostly changed a lot of grammatical errors, and arranged my title around a little bit. My opening paragraph was also adjusted to make it more interesting.
A Season to Remember
The intensity, the crowd, and the emotion throughout this past basketball season is a part of the significant experience I went through during the previous basketball season. There were moments such as our team coming together, our funny moments we shared that brought us together, and the adversity we had to face and handle to get through the season. I matured and learned many things about life, and my future.
This experience had an impact on my life and I learned many things besides just basketball. It began with learning how to work together and be comfortable around others. To achieve success we needed to be a team and come together as one big family. The team started out being underestimated and not thought of being much of anything, and wasn’t believed in by anyone. We needed change by working harder, getting better, and coming together as one. We began as individuals; we couldn’t have and we needed to become team.
Although you need to be a team on the court, more importantly you must be a team off the court as well. This, however, brings a personal connection, and one of those things was I needed to get to know people better. The more people you have and can talk to the better you will be, and the easier life will be. Enemies are not what you want; you want people you can trust and have fun around. This taught me that life can be good, and everything is simpler when you are happy with the people around you.
We started out great when it came to the season, but we hit a losing streak. We argued and fought because we were struggling as a team and we were not winning like we were in the beginning. We had to get around the adversity and when we did we went back to being successful. We had to back up past success of our program; the way to do that was to win the district nine title as we did. We got into states, but we lost our first game and which eliminated us. We accomplished all the goals we had set at the beginning of the season.
Last year was my junior year; I have one year left of basketball. Everything that happened a year ago only made the experience even better. We still have to work harder to get better because you can never be good enough and there is always room for improvement. All the experience will pay off and will help us repeat, and continue the success and gain even more experience not just in basketball, but in life as well.